So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
