If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
