I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think I sprained my soul last night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
