In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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