Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We smell like vodka and hangover
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