It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
