Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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