he was CRYING into my vagina
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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