margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
