but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
