I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
