Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
