you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
