I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize