so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
