Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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