alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You took a bar mat shot.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
