WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize