If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
