stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
