im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the day after is always just damage control
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
