so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
