Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
