theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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