3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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