i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up under a house in Key West
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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