That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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