Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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