ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drake has all the answers
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
