i think i have two assholes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
