Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
