I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
