He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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