I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
