yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
