Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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