All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
