people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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