I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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