Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
