Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't watch enough power rangers
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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