so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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