He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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