I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize