Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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