Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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