Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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