Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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