Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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