you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
