I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
