OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
