i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
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My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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