Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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