the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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