But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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