kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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