Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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