I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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