i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize