I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
