Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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