it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize