I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize