I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
