It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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