And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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