So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
