Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
