There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
