you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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