My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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