I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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