Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
