Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All I want is dick and wine.
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